


(don't) hold it

by the_forgotten_daydreamer



Series: Haikyuu!! • ハイキュー!! [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Caring Takeda Ittetsu, Caring Tsukishima Kei, Caring Ukai Keishin, Emetophobia, Emetophobic Yamaguchi, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Facing Phobias, Fainting, Gen, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Hyperventilation, Mentions of medication, Mild Language, Panic Attacks, Passing Out, Phobias, Sick Yamaguchi Tadashi, Sickfic, Vomiting, Yamaguchi has a panic attack, Yamaguchi has an anxiety disorder, Yamaguchi-centric, caring Hinata Shouyou, haikyuu sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:42:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27035122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_forgotten_daydreamer/pseuds/the_forgotten_daydreamer
Summary: Yamaguchi is horribly sick. He's also terribly emetophobic. Helping him before he gets worse is not easy, and things go downhill very fast.
Relationships: Yamaguchi Tadashi & Tsukishima Kei & Hinata Shouyou
Series: Haikyuu!! • ハイキュー!! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913872
Comments: 18
Kudos: 172





	(don't) hold it

**Author's Note:**

> ⚠️read the tags⚠️  
> ー  
> I do not own Haikyuu!! nor these characters.

As soon as he'd woken up that morning, Yamaguchi _knew_ he should have stayed at home. He _knew_ that it was a bad idea to go to a match in that condition. He _knew_ that the bus ride was only going to upset his stomach further. Yamaguchi _knew_ those things, he knew them well. Or, maybe, only _acknowledged_ them.

Because there he was, a two-hour long bus ride later, in a foreign city for a practice match. He'd been practicing serves that didn't even go past the net for the past fifteen minutes, arms shaking horribly, legs wobbly under his weight. And the oh-so-dreaded sensation in his stomach, as if something was burning deep in there, a weight plummeting down and rising up incessantly, making his mouth water and his throat constrict as he helplessly tried his best to distract himself. Frustration didn't help. He could feel his teammates' eyes on him, probably wondering how he could be so pathetic and weak at his age. After one lucky shot, where the ball hit the net and fell on the other side of the court, Yamaguchi exhaled shakily, and swayed toward the bench, grabbing his bottle and eyeing it with wide eyes. _No._ He couldn't drink now. Heー

"Yamaguchi. A word, please." Ukai called, and the boy fearfully approached him, water bottle tight in his visibly trembling hands.

"Y-yes, Coach?"

"You look like crap, and you keep messing up on easy tasks. It's not like you, Yamaguchi. Do you need to get some fresh air?" Ukai asked, concerned at Yamaguchi's lack of words. Now that the pinch server was closer, Ukai noticed the sickly shade of green lingering on his face too, color unnatural and scarily alarming. The young pinch server was known for being nervous before matches, and Ukai had been told by Takeda that he also suffered from certified anxiety disorder, but Yamaguchi had never looked _this_ rough before a matchー a practice match, nonetheless. The younger man shivered, wrapping his arms around his middle, gaze glued to his unsteady feet. 

Ukai sighed, sympathetic and mildly worried, "If your anxiety is acting up, I can let you sit the first set out. Only this once, though, and just because you look _really_ horrible. I mean, we still need our trusted pinch server, you know?" the coach said, trying to lighten the mood and maybe put Yamaguchi at ease. It didn't seem to work one bit.

The boy swallowed, loud, "M'not an-anxious. M'okay, s'not the m-match, I can st-stay, Iー" he started, but a wet, vicious belch ripped through his throat as he bought a fist up in front of his mouth. Ukai cringed, shaking his head. _These guys…_

"M'fine. I can pl-play."

"You're kidding, right? You're _definitely_ sick, Yamaguchi. What… what are you so anxious for, if I may?" Ukai asked, hesitant. He'd never been good with these things, and even if Takeda had tried to instruct him on how to deal with certain thingsー not only concerning Yamaguchiー he still had a lot to learn.

The boy shook his head, forcing a soundless, acidic burp out his lips, "S'not that. I t-took my meds. M'not anxious."

"Then… Maybe you overworked yourself while warming up?" Ukai wondered, trying to catch Yamaguchi's distant eyes. The boy shook his head vehemently, chin twitching as he held back the hiccups. He wasn't sick. Why wouldn't they _understand?_

"Talk to me. Are you sick from the bus ride? Did you eat too much for breakfast? Or are you just dizzy? Oi, Yamaguchi." he insisted. The boy really looked like he was going to keel over any second; his skin was so pale, glisted in tiny pearls of sweat, and his gasps surely weren't a symptom of overexertion, now that Ukai looked closely. "Maybe you should go sit dー"

Without a warning, not that they expected one, a violent gag ripped through Yamaguchi's throat as he pitched forward, stumbling, hands dropping the orange water bottle and flying up to press on his mouth; with a whispered curse, Ukai rapidly grabbed onto Yamaguchi's trembling upper arm, keeping him from falling.

"I knew it. Shit." He frantically scanned the gym for Tsukishima, who was bickering with Kageyama, as usual; the coach didn't let go yet. Instead, he brought his free hand up and placed it onto Yamaguchi's sweaty forehead: he was definitely warm, but not feverish enough to feel sick _because_ of it. Yamaguchi blinked sheepishly, mildly confused, and Ukai didn't loosen his grip.

"You should've said something sooner. You kids just want to drive me crazy, don't you?" Ukai sighed, no real anger in his tone. Yamaguchi didn't flinch; to be fair, he looked like he was too out of it to even hear him. _Not good._

"Tsukishima! Come here." the man called. The blond player looked at his coach, and rapidly jogged over, eyeing his friend curiously.

"Yamaguchi's feeling nauseous. Can you take him to the bathroom, please? I think he needs to puke." 

And with those words, Tsukishima paled, too. "Nauseous?" he parroted, adrenaline kicking in for what was coming. Ukai nodded.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure of it." Ukai nodded to Yamaguchi's skin, to the sickly green hue that lingered on it. Tsukishima cringed internally. _Fuck._

"I'll take him to the bathroom immediately." he nodded, grabbing Yamaguchi's elbow for safe measure; only then, Ukai released his almost-lethal grip and grabbed the bottle that had fallen down. The blond attempted to steer his friend away, but the shaky pinch server didn't seem to be willing to move. He didn't need to, afterallー he wasn't sick, he didn't need to leave. He was fine. Yamaguchi was _fine_.

"Take him to the nurse after he throws up, 'cause he's running a low fever too. I'll send Shimizu over later." Ukai explained, "Oh, and make Yamaguchi drink some water afterwards, please. I don't want him to get any weaker than this." he said, handing Yamaguchi's bottle over to Tsukishima.

"D-dun need th' b-bathroom. M'not s-sick."

"Yeah, you are." Ukai insisted, "We'll talk about you wanting to play in this condition later, but right now I want you to get what's bothering you out of your system and take a nap until we're done here." His words were harsh, but his tone was soft, gentle. Of course he was worried. 

Finally, Tsukishima managed to drag Yamaguchi away, walking slowly while keeping his hands under his friend's elbow. "How long have you been feeling _this_ sick?"

"M'not sick." he hiccupped, a low burp escaping his pale lips again.

"Yamaguchi, stop it. We both know what's about to happen." Tsukishima stated, maybe a bit too harsh, "Last time wasn't pretty, and I haven't forgotten."

Yamaguchi's low sob made Tsukishima's chest ache, and he tightened his grip, "Stop crying. Just tell me if you need me to slow down." he said, "Can you make it to the bathroom? Yamaguchi, oi."

A faint nod was all that Yamaguchi could manage, and that tiny movement was enough to make him shake, knees holding his weight only barely. He was grateful when his friend grabbed his other elbow as well, keeping him upright.

The walk toward the bathroom was slow and painful, taking more than ten minutesー it would have taken a couple at most, normallyー since the two had to stop every few meters whenever Yamaguchi halted without a warning and pitched forward with a choked gag. All false alarms, since he didn't get anything up. Finally, they reached the bathroom, and Tsukishima steadily guided Yamaguchi into a stallー luckily, they were all empty.

Yamaguchi reluctantly kneeled in front of the toilet, guided down by Tsukishima who squatted down behind him, placing the bottle at his feet. He rubbed his hand up and down his friend's arched back, and brought his free hand forward and around Yamaguchi's middle, and down his stomach, running his hand up and down that spot insistently.

"N-no, T-Tsukki, s-stop. I ca-can'tー don't m-make meー I don't ne-needー" Yamaguchi got cut off as he dry heaved in the bowl; his eyes seemed as if they were just about ready to pop out of their sockets, blown wide open, bloodshot. Tsukishima kept rubbing his stomach, feeling it gurgle loudly under his hand. The poor boy was sweating buckets, and his forehead was literally dripping wet, and everything about his posture screamed _agony._ He was trembling from head to toe, face ashen, his freckles popping out far more than usual in contrast with his ridiculously pale skin.

"Pl-please, le'me go back to t-the gym. I'll hold it, ple-please..!" he begged, faint. His friend shook his head.

"Try to get something up." Tsukishima said, "You're going to be okay, just try to get it up already. It's fine, it happens to evー" The sound of someone whistling outside the bathroom's door caught his attention as he peeked out of the stall, annoyed. Of course that _dumbass_ had to be there. _Of course._

"Ah, there you are, guys!" Hinata called, "Sorry, I won't bother you, just gotta pee. Is, huh, is Yamaguchi okay? Hey Yamaguchi, you okay?" he called, already busy with the urinary directly in front of the stall where Yamaguchi was on the verge of losing his breakfast. Tsukishima shook his head, bemused at his teammate's lack of shame.

A wet belch made its way up Yamaguchi's throat, tickling the back; he wailed, low, breath coming in short, tiny gasps. Hinata cringed as he finished doing his business and walked over to the sinks, washing his hands. He then peeked inside the stall.

"Yamaguchi, you look _green."_ Hinata winced sympathetically, "But there's nothing to be ashamed of, you know? It happens to be sick, sometimes."

"S'not that. I j-just don'tー I can't." Yamaguchi panted, cheeks bulging, his Adam's apple bobbing uncomfortably in his throat that felt too tight and warm. Hinata looked puzzled, and shifted his gaze toward Tsukishima, looking for clearer answers.

The taller boy noticed. "He's emetophobic."

"Tsukki..." Yamaguchi cringed. That wordー it made him sound so real, like he was really sick. But he _wasn't._

Hinata cocked an eyebrow, squinting, "Wait, I've heard that word already. Gah, I don't remember it, though. What does it mean?"

"You'll never pass your exams like this."

"Oi!!" Hinata growled, indarvertitely gripping Yamaguchi's elbow tighter.

"Emetophobic indicates someone that has an acute phobia of vomiting. He can't help it." Tsukishima explained with a haughty sigh. Hinata hummed. He leaned closer to Yamaguchi's face, ashen and damp in sweat, and felt a pang through his chest. "Yamaguchi, what scares you so much? Vomiting is natural." he tried, genuinely confused, "Are you scared of choking on your own puke and suffocating andー"

"You're not helping him, idiot." Tsukishima seethed, seeing how Yamaguchi had somehow managed to lose even more color to his face thanks to Hinata's words.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make it worse. Yamaguchi, I'm so sorry." Hinata fretted, "Don't be scared, okay? Tsukishima and I are here with you, so you're not alone. We'll help you, okay?"

But Yamaguchi was a sobbing mess, not listening. Tears and snot dripped down his face, along with copious amounts of sweat; saliva kept pooling in his mouth, no matter how often he spit in the toilet to get rid of it. His breath was hitched, erratic, coming in short and shallow gasps, loud yet useless as no oxygen was reaching his lungs whatsoever.

"Yamaguchi, it's obvious that you need to throw up. Don't hold it, it's going to get worse if you do." Tsukishima insisted.

"I d-don't kn-know what t-to doー I don'tー I can'tー I can't do i-it." 

"Do you want me to stick my fingers up your throat? It might help." he offered, much to Yamaguchi's _obvious_ discomfort, "Once you get whatever's bothering you out of your system, you'll be fine. It won't get better in any other way."

Hinata hissed, "Should you be saying that to him? It sounds like a threat."

"It kinda is." Tsukishima hummed, "It's not the first time I've seen this, I know what I need to do." and that was a half lie. Yes, Tsukishima knew what he needed to do, but it didn't mean that he'd ever _had_ to do it on his own. Yamaguchi tensed up, stomach knotting and twisting violently, making his head swim uncontrollably; air didn't seem to be reaching his lungs, and the little air that did go down only seemed to burn his lungs and wound them, somehow. This only sent Yamaguchi further down the spiral of panic that clawed at his chest. And that's when Tsukishima realised that his hands, still placed on Yamaguchi's body, weren't moving anymore.

_Shit!_

"Yaー _Tadashi._ Tadashi. Breathe."

"N-no, I c-can't! I ca-can't br-brea-"

"Yes, you can. Come on, idiotー"

"Tsukishima, be gentler! Geez!" Hinata growled under his breath, forcing his way into the stall and unceremoniously swatting Tsukishima's hands away, letting his take their place. He looked at Yamaguchi once again, never stopping to rub soothing circles on his back and stomach, hoping to move something inside of himー quite literally. 

"Shhh, it's okay, Yamaguchi. Nothing bad's gonna happen if you throw up, trust me. You've seen me, right? I've been sick a thousand times! Remember when I got sick on Tanaka-senpai's pants? Or when I threw up in the gym and onto Suga-senpai's shoes?" he chuckled, and Yamaguchi looked more relaxed, inhaling a shaky and small breath, just in the slightest, but it was better than nothing. "That was horrible to witness, I bet. To be honest, it wasn't nice for me either… but look! I'm still here, alive and breathing. I was fine after ten minutes at most, and it will be the same for you once you throw up. It's all good, yeah?" Hinata continued, "I've never lied to you, have I? Trust me, you're going to be just fine. We're here." 

"Y-you don't g-get i-it." Yamaguchi hiccupped, "I don'tー it's notー"

"I know, it's okay. I know don't understand what you're going through, I won't pretend I know exactly how you're feeling, man. But I know that you'll feel better once you throw up and breathe deep." Hinata explained, tone stern but words gentle, "Tsukishima, come here."

And Tsukishima complied, strangely enough, a bemused look in his eyes. "Take his hand and put it on your chest."

"What?"

"Just do it, Tsukishima." 

Tsukishima sighed, gently grabbing Yamaguchi's wrist and making him place his sweaty palm on Tsukishima's chestー _oh,_ now he understood what Hinata was aiming for. The blond inhaled and exhaled slow and deep, and leaned over to meet his friend's eyes, "Follow my breathing, Tadashi. Match my pace."

Hinata smiled; Tsukishima could be a good guy when he wanted to. Yamaguchi kept crying, tears streaming down his face as he hiccupped and whimpered like a wounded puppy.

"M'feeling r-really si-sick." he finally said, acknowledging that he definitely was not okay. "M's-scared." 

Hinata and Tsukishima's features softened a bit. The ginger boy hummed, "It's okay to be scared. But you need to understand that, in this situation, the best thing you can do is face your fear in order to feel better soon." he said, and apologised to his friend under his breath as he pressed inwards and upwards on Yamaguchi's stomach, forcibly upsetting it. And that seemed to do the trick, because Yamaguchi flung himself forward into the bowl and gagged, bringing up a nasty-looking wave of puke. It wasn't much, not even remotely enough to give any relief, but it was a start.

"I'm sorry, dude. There, there, it's okay, you're fine. Don't get too worked up, just take it easy and try to get it all out." he coaxed, gently, "The worst part is over. Once you start, the rest comes naturally. You did it!"

Yamaguchi coughed and spat in the dirty bowl, crying and panting unsteadily.

"Take a deep breath, now. In..." Hinata inhaled more than what he needed to, just to make Yamaguchi imitate him, "...and out." he exhaled. Yamaguchi, however, didn't even try, incapacitated by his overwhelming panic.

Tsukishima couldn't deny that he felt jealous because of Hinata's ability to comfort others, or Yamaguchi, at least. As if on cue, Hinata scooted to the side right after flushing the toilet, and signaled for Tsukishima to take his place again, "I think he needs you."

Tsukishima nodded, gratefulー no, he was not going to admit it out loudー and returned to his place, hands immediately going back to rubbing circles. Yamaguchi's white shirt was stuck to his skin, damp in sweat, and with little specks of puke on the collar. Hinata noticed those too, and went to grab some paper towels, thicker than toilet paper, and dabbed at the shirt, trying to get the vomit out of it.

Yamaguchi was mumbling something that neither of the others understood, gaze fixed to the toilet, and Hinata allowed himself to place a hand on the freckled forehead; it was hot. Not alarmingly boiling, but hot nonetheless.

"Tsukishima." he called, chestnut-brown eyes wide, "Yamaguchi's got a fever."

"Coach Ukai said that too. I think it got higher, though." he replied, biting his lower lip. This was bad. Downright terrible.

"Oi, Hinata." he called over his shoulder, suddenly. The shortest guy startled slightly, but leaned over to listen to Tsukishima's words anyway.

"Use those fast reflexes of yours to go call the Coach." implying that he had nothing more he could do on his own, speaking over Yamaguchi's gasps and wails, failing to mask his worry. He even added a half-whispered 'please'. Hinata studied Tsukishima's face for an instant: the guy looked pale, and _scared._ Without losing any more time, he bolted out of the bathroom and toward the gym.

Tsukishima sighed, turning his attention to Yamaguchi again, who was still gasping loudly, struggling to breathe properlyー or, well, to breathe at all. 

"Tadashi, you must calm down. Panicking will only make you feel worse." he said, hoping that his somewhat stern tone could make his friend obey, and his breathing only picked up more. _Figures._

Yamaguchi really thought that he was going to die. His body and brain _hurt,_ terrifying thoughts swirling in his fuzzy head, that felt so heavy yet to light, now; the burning feeling in his stomach hadn't abated, and the shaking in his every part had only gotten more and more intense as seconds went by, and Yamaguchi felt like his lungs were in a necrosive state already, dry and empty. Pinpoint, shaky pupils attempted to focus on the toilet underneath him, trying to ground himself, to tell himself that he was _fine,_ that he didn't _need_ to puke.

He was proven wrong as everything blended together in a dizzy swirl of white and black. Yamaguchi burped, loud and deep, and his trembling shoulders pitched forward; a thick splatter of viscous vomit fell out of his mouth and nose and into the toilet, the sounds of liquids colliding making Tsukishima gag and cringe subconsciously as he kept rubbing his friend's arched back.

"There you go again. It's okay, you're okay." he reassured. _At least he got a little more something up._

Yamaguchi gasped and gulped like a fish out of water, his grip on the toilet so tight that his knuckles went white; the act of throwing up had left him even more breathless, if that was even possible. White blobs had started to dance across his vision when he leaned over the toilet and brought up another mouthful of sick, gagging so loud that Tsukishima was sure his friend could be heard from the gym. Carefully, he swept Yamaguchi's hair back with his free hand, smoothing the sweaty bangs away from his eyes.

"You're doing great." he said, truthfully, "It'll be over soon."

"Ts-Tsukki, I c-can'tー can't breaー" he heaved again, a loud sob torn from his throat as he vomited again. This one was shorter than the others, but it didn't mean that it hurt any less. On the contrary, it was even _more_ painful. His head lolled in the toilet, miserable and spent, quaking, unsteady breaths seizing his lungs. Yamaguchi's vision swam further, and he was positive that he wasn't sitting still anymore, but that he'd been thrown into some sort of large washing machine that was on, now.

The loud ringing in his ears made it hard for him to focus. He couldn't see anything anymore, and everything sounded as if he were underwater, the only clear sound being his heartbeat hammering in his ears.

"F-fuck. M'a pass ou'." he simply announced with a whisper, and it took Tsukishima a second to process. The blond immediately jumped into action, sliding one arm under Yamaguchi's sweaty armpit and wrapping it around his torso, and the other hand on his back, to support him were he to fall face-first or on his back.

“No, you're not. You're not. Justー calm down.” Tsukishima said, tone sternー fear did this to him, and he made a quick mental note to apologise for his tone later. Yamaguchi didn't even try, too absorbed by his own panic.

"Calm down. Follow my breathing, Tadashi. I’m serious. Oi, listen to me, listen to my voice. Follow my breathing, I said.” Tsukishima tried again, visibly panicked. The freckled boy shook his head vehemently, desperately heaving for oxygen, lungs squeezing in his chest, guts throbbing to the rhythm of his heartbeat, so fast and erraticー he was going to _die,_ he knew it.

"Get a grip on yー oi! Shit, Tadashi!" Tsukishima called, heart leaping in his throat as he gripped tight at Yamaguchi's form, falling backwards without a warningー well, that wasn't entirely true. His breaths were still hitched and shallow, but he was gradually calming down and, for that, Tsukishima was grateful. He just wished it hadn't taken this long, or his friend fainting like that.

Yamaguchi's dark head lolling limply against Tsukishima's chest, and he gently dragged them out of the narrow stall; he lowered them both to the ground, mentally apologising to him for putting him down on the bathroom floorー it wasn't dirty per se, but still unhygienic. By the time Tsukishima eased Yamaguchi down on the cold tiles, he could already see his eyelids twitching, but his too-pale face remained slack and clammy. It made his heart ache, to see his friend like that, so vulnerable and hurt. Tsukishima brought a hand to his mouth, biting his thumb nail as his mind raced, trying to remember what to do. He needed to wake Yamaguchi up, but he couldn't let him choke on his own vomit either.

_Should I roll him on his side? Or hold his ankles up? Do I leave him on his back and only turn his head? Shit. Shit. Fucking shit._

Shakily, with an indecent amount of adrenaline pumping in his veins, Tsukishima extended his arm to turn Yamaguchi's head to the side, and then he stood up, taking Yamaguchi's ankles up with him, trying to get some blood flow to his friend's headー he wasn't even sure that was the right thing to do but, right now, thinking straight wasn't possible, too overwhelmed by sheer panic. It wasn't the first time he'd seen this whole thing happen, but at least he wasn't on his own last time, and Yamaguchi's mother had immediately jumped into action, and the crisis had been solved rather rapidly after lots of tears and puke, nonetheless. But Yamaguchi had never conked out like that. Not in front of Tsukishima. This part was… new, and Miss Yamaguchi wasn't there either. Tsukishima was positively, entirely lost. 

"Tadashi, are you with me? Tadashi?" he called, tentatively, "Say something. Anything." He didn't get a reply, not even a groan. Still, Yamaguchi's color looked better in the slightest, and his chest was rising and falling at a more human pace, now. _Small victories._

ーA couple of minutes earlierー

Hinata sprinted into the gym, fanned.

"Hinata, I was about to send Yachi to get you. You're not sick too, are you?" Ukai called, his arms crossed as he looked at the boy with a concerned look. Before Hinata could reply, Ukai spoke. "Where are the others? Did Tsukishima take Yamaguchi to the infirmary?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow and peeking inside the corridor to see if anyone else was coming. Hinata shook his head, fumbling for word, a nervous hitch in his breath.

"Yamaguchi's, like, _really_ sick. Tsukishima told me to come and get you... He- he looked alarmed. It's bad." he said, fidgeting with his fingers, pulling and twisting them.

Ukai was already getting up from the bench with a grim look on his faceー Tsukishima being _alarmed_ was definitely a source of worryー when Takeda's hand gripped at his shoulder. The coach turned toward the shorter man, who nodded.

"I'll go. Ukai-kun, you stay here with the others."

"...Alright, I'll leave that to you, sensei. Thank you." Ukai said, bowing his head slightly in a thankful gesture.

Takeda flashed a small smile, before letting a serious frown take over his face; he approached Hinata, who immediately sped-walked toward the bathroom.

"Hinata-kun, you said Yamaguchi-kun's sick? Has he vomited yet?" he asked, following Hinata.

The boy nodded, "Yeah, but Yamaguchi made it clear that he doesn't _want_ to be sick, he's totally freaking out. Earlier, Tsukishima explained to me that he's always been etem- emot- em- huhー"

"Emetophobic, perhaps?"

"Oh, yes, that. He's really panicking in there, I've never seen that guy look so bad. I mean, I'm kinda used to puking so I don't really see the big deal, but Yamaguchi looked like he'd seen death or something. It- it was scary. He's also feverish." Hinata fretted, "Do you think he'll be okay, sensei? He's not dying, is he?"

Takeda's features softened, though it was hard to mask the worry that churned his gut; seeing these kids suffering either physically or emotionally had always set him on edge. "Yamaguchi-kun will be fine, eventually. Don't worry." he reassured, "Unfortunately, since he's emetophobic it will be hard for us to make him expel what's bothering him, but we must find a way. Have you tried rubbing his back and stomach a bit?"

"Yes, we tried both. He did throw up, but only a bit. Like, less than a mouthful. Ah, I'm sorry, sensei, it's a bit yuckyー"

"No problem, Hinata-kun. It's better to know what I'll deal with beforehand." Takeda reassured, "So, Yamaguchi-kun hasn't thrown up enough yet... I think we should take him to the nurse and let them deal with it, because this might be out of our league." Takeda reasoned. He sighed, "To be fair, I was hoping that he was just a bit nervous, but I'm afraid that this is more than that."

The two reached the bathroom quicklyー Takeda was faster than he looked, Hinata noticed, but again, the man had always been sprinting around, back and forth from the gym to the teachers lounge, to Ukai's conbini, to his own house. He rarely only _walked._ Surely enough, finding Yamaguchi down on the floor, unconscious, was quite a shock.

"Oh gosh, what's going on?" Takeda almost screeched, rapidly jogging toward the supine boy, and crouching down next to him, "Yamaguchi-kun, can you hear me?"

"Tsukishima, what happened? I was only gone for, like, three minutes!" Hinata screeched, hands pulling at his own hair.

"He threw up a lot, panicked and passed out." Tsukishima bit, "It's been less than a minute since he fainted."

Takeda met Tsukishima's golden gaze, "How much did he throw up? How many times?

"Three, maybe four separate times in total, I'm not sure. He… I'm not sure of how I should quantify what he threw up, but it was a lot. And I couldn't get him to drink anything either." Tsukishima _fretted._

Takeda inhaled slowly, patting Yamaguchi's cheek that was turned upwards, the other pressed against the icy tiles, "He's thrown up that much in the span of three minutes..?" he repeated.

_Shit._

"Come on, Yamaguchi-kun, wake up. Wait, his name's Tadashi, right?"

"Tadashi, yes."

"Ah, I've always thought it suited him." Takeda nodded, looking away from Tsukishima and back at Yamaguchi. He kept patting his freckled cheek gently, "Tadashi-kun, can you hear me? Tadashi-kun?" He elicited no response, despite having used the first name, which usually tended to work.

"Do y-you think we should call an ambulance, sensei?" Hinata asked, his voice sounding smaller than ever. Tsukishima stood still, holding Yamaguchi's ankles up, but lower than earlier.

The teacher shook his head, wide eyes scanning Yamaguchi's face for a reaction, taking his wrist, "No, not yet. His breathing is fine, and his pulse is somewhat regular, so he should wake up soon anyway. Once we get him to respond, we must take him to the nurse. They'll decide what to do from there. If he drinks and rests, he should be okay without needing a trip to the hospital."

He felt Yamaguchi's forehead, "His fever isn't that high either, and I'm sure that this warmth is also caused by the fact that he was very agitated. Shouldn't be higher than 38.5°C, hopefully." 

And finally, Yamaguchi stirred, mumbling something under his breath, head lolling and facing the ceiling. He blinked his eyes open, squinting them shut immediately at the blinding, offending lights. "F-fuck." he hissed. Takeda waited a couple of more minutes, filled with Yamaguchi's grunts and moans, before he placed his hand on the boy's shoulder, and spoke. "Yamaguchi-kun, are you with us now?"

"...S-sensei?"

"Yes, it's me. Do you know what happened?" he asked, checking if the young player was really fully cognizant. He paled instantly.

"I thr-threw up and pas-passed out." he breathed out, eyes now wide open, a thin layer of sweat forming on his face once again. His whole form shook, and Takeda moved his hand up and down the boy's arm in a reassuring manner, "Yes, but you're fine now. Stay calm, okay?"

"I f-feel r-really ba-bad." Yamaguchi hiccupped, his breathing picking up again.

"What hurts?" Tsukishima cut in, tense.

"St-stomach and m'head. A-and my chest f-feels sore and m' so co-cold."

"How long have you been feeling sick, Yamaguchi-kun?"

"Since m-morning."

Takeda cursed in his mind, unable to help shaking his head; he glanced over his shoulders at Hinata and Tsukishima, who looked shaken up. He didn't blame them. The teacher turned his attention to Yamaguchi again, fixing the glasses on his nose, "Do you feel like you can stand? We will help."

Yamaguchi nodded, just barely, and Takeda thanked whoever was up there that he didn't need to call a nurse with a stretcherー assuming that they had one in the first place. Tsukishima and Hinata crouched down next to Yamaguchi, picking his arms up from under his armpits, their other hand supporting his back; Takeda grabbed Yamaguchi's upper arms while standing in front of him, to be sure that he wasn't going to fall face-down. Yamaguchi stood unsteady on his trembling and weak knees, face losing all the color it had gotten back while lying down. He was white as a sheet, a tiny trace of puke still soiling the corner of his mouth. The four started to walk toward the infirmary, which wasn't far from the bathroom, luckily. Takeda walked backwards, ready to catch Yamaguchi in case of need, and Tsukishima had to remind himself to take small steps, despite his long legs made the movement odd and unnatural. Hinata kept whispering words of comfort to his friend every now and then, but it was clear that they were falling on deaf earsー Yamaguchi looked like he'd left the planet, mentally. 

After what seemed like an eternity, they reached the nurse's office. Takeda peeked inside, noticing how there was only the nurse there. _Better this way,_ he thought, _at least Yamaguchi-kun won't feel overwhelmed._

The nurse brought his gaze up from the magazine he was reading, and got up, "Hello. May I help you?"

"Oh, yes, hello." Takeda said, bowing his head and stepping inside, the three players following close, "I'm Takeda Ittetsu, Karasuno Volleyball Club's supervisor, nice to meet you. One of the players of the team's really sick." he explained.

The nurse hummed and walked over, glancing at Yamaguchiー whose weight was almost entirely sustained by Tsukishima and Hinata. He patted the closest cot, smiling, "Put him here, please." he said, and turned to Takeda, "What are his symptoms?"

"He threw up a lot and then passed out. He's extremely emetophobic, so I'm pretty sure that he fainted because he hyperventilated." Takeda reported. The nurse nodded.

Yamaguchi's friends stood anxiously a couple of feet away from the bed on which they'd placed him; Hinata chewed on his inner cheek, and Tsukishima was very much aware of the fact that his jaw was clenched too tight. Takeda didn't leave Yamaguchi's side; the pinch server blinked sheepishly at the nurse, pale and chapped lips slightly parted.

"Hello! Can you tell me your name and age, please?" the nurse asked, purposefully cutting into Yamaguchi's visual field, offering a sympathetic smile. After a couple of long, tense seconds, the freckled boy seemed to acknowledge the man's presence.

"Yam-Yamaguchi Tadashi, m' sixteen."

"Yamaguchi-kun, eh? Nice to meet you, my name's Ishii Tatsuhisa. I'm going to check a couple of things and ask you some questions, okay? Your teacherーTakeda-sensei, is it?ー he has to stay since he's the supervisor, so he's responsible for what happens to you. But I'm afraid your friends will have to leave." he said, readying the blood pressure cuff and wrapping it around Yamaguchi's arm.

"Y-yeah, the match... They g-gotta go…" the pinch server slurred in response, "The match will st-start soon, you guys sh-shouldー"

"No. I won't leave." Tsukishima cut him off.

"Me neither." Hinata nodded.

Ishii and Takeda smiled, and the nurse looked back at Yamaguchi, "Then I'll have to ask you to at least stay outside the door. I'm sorry, it's protocol." Ishii said, sincerely mortified. The teens obeyed, reluctantly, and Takeda walked over to slide the door closed. If he left a slit open on purpose or not, nobody would ever know. Tsukishima and Hinata exchanged a quizzical look before shrugging and peeking inside the nurse's office.

"Looks like your blood pressure is optimal. Can you tell me exactly what is bothering you?" Ishii asked, while he got up from his stool and grabbed a no-contact thermometer, pointing it at Yamaguchi's forehead. 

"M' stomach's been hurting since th's morning a-and I feel nauseous and dizzy. And m'cold." he added, as if the shivering hadn't given that away yet.

"I understand. You're running a fever of 38.2°C as well." Ishii hummed. He gently placed his hand where Yamaguchi's right leg and pelvis connected, and applied a mild pressure that he released after a few seconds. "Did that hurt? Even only a bit?"

Yamaguchi blinked, slurring a negative response. Takeda breathed out in relief.

"My theory's that you have a stomach bug, Yamaguchi-kun. Either that, or you ate something that wasn't particularly good for you, but I would exclude food poisoning and appendicitis. Do you remember what you ate yesterday and today?"

Yamaguchi's face scrunched up in confusion as he tried to remember. What had he eaten? Did something smell odd? Images of food flashed before his eyes, and before he knew it, Yamaguchi shot up from his laid-down position, gripping at the sheets for dear life. His breathing was ragged and shallow, eyes glued to his lap. _Oh no. No no no no no noー_

Ishii rapidly turned around and placed a plastic basin on his lap, and Yamaguchi's stomach churned more insistently. He wondered how he could be feeling sick, since he'd most likely thrown up everything he had in his stomach, only sour bile left to expel. This didn't make him feel any better. Why was he still sick? What was wrong with him? What was happening to his body?

"...uchi-kun, breathe. Come on, kid, nice and easy." 

_Takeda-sensei._ "I c-ca-can'tー"

"Has he drunk anything after throwing up?" Yamaguchi heard Ishii ask, probably to Hinata and Tsukishima, knowing perfectly well that they were seeing everything. He saw the man leaving the bedside in the corner of his eyes, and he appeared again, brandishing a paper cup filled with water in front of him.

"Yamaguchi-kun, I want you to drink this; you need to hydrate." 

He didn't care if he looked childish, covered in dried-up puke and tears and snot, shaking his head and pursing his lips; he didn't want to have anything near his mouth now. He could barely breathe, how did they expect him to have enough strength to actually drink?

"It's water with salt in it. It'll make you feel better." Ishii explained, "I know you're scared of throwing up, and I'm sorry for that. But if you don't hydrate, you're going to face more serious problems, kid." he said, patting Yamaguchi's arched and sweaty back. Takeda sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing Yamaguchi's arm; Hinata and Tsukishima stared from a short distance, holding their breaths. Tsukishima had rarely been _scared,_ and he hoped that this was going to be his first and last time in years. Hinata, on the other hand, was used to being afraid, but he'd never seen one of his friends looking like thatー and it freaked him out in a whole new way.

And they heard Yamaguchi's gag clearly, cringing at the thought of the pain he was in. Thick liquid splattered into the basin, and Yamaguchi lost several shades as he kept on puking, bringing up more and more bile, becoming so empty that at one point he didn't even have that to get out; he dry-heaved, muscles constricting to the point where they all feared that his abs would snap, veins on his forehead and neck jumping out of the skin as he kept gagging loud. It was atrocious.

Hinata and Tsukishima couldn't hear what Takeda and Ishii were talking about, voice purposefully low and drowned into Yamaguchi's distressed noises, but when the nurse got up and walked to his desk, Tsukishima tensed up further. "Shit."

"W-what?" Hinata asked, looking at the taller boy.

"They're- they're going to call an ambulance." Tsukishima explained, grimacing, "It was expected. He keeps throwing up and won't drink anything, that's dangerous for the human body. If he doesn't get some fluids running, TadーYamaguchi will end up in... in a bad situation." 

His fists were tight, sweaty. Hinata hesitantly patted his back, unsure, "He'll be okay."

"I know. I'm not worried."

"Are you sure? Your teeth will break if you grind them like this again." Hinata said, and saw Tsukishima relaxing his jaw. "Yamaguchi's your friend, it's normal to be worried. I am too, you know? But, like, he's your _best_ friend so I'm probably nowhere nearly as worried as you. But I _am_ worried." 

They didn't even notice Takeda approaching them with a tense look in his eyes, wide behind the spectacles. The teens stepped back, and Tajeda pretended not to know anything as he took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose, "So… Ishii-san suggested taking Yamaguchi-kun to the hospital, and I'm going with him. Are… are you two okay?"

"Yes, we're not the ones throwing up." Tsukishima dead-panned, earning a soft scold from the teacher.

"That's not what I meant and I'm sure that you know it. I bet that you're both shaken up, so I'll ask Ukai-kun to keep an eye on you two during the match. That is, if you feel like playing now… I'm sure he wouldn't mind you sitting this one out, given the circumstances."

"No, I won't stay here. I want to go with Yamaguchi."

"I know, Tsukishima-kun, I know. But we wouldn't fit in the ambulance. I might ask your coach to give you a ride there after the match, but nowー" he placed his hands on the boys' shoulders, "I want you to distract yourselves and destress. Run, hit some balls, score some points, scream a bitー but no profanities, or I'll have Sawamura-kun make you run extra laps for a month. Or just sit on the bench and cheer for your teammates. Either way, focus on something else." Takeda instructed, a warm smile on his face as he eased the glasses on his nose again.

Tsukishima nodded, sighing, "...Okay. I'm sorry, sensei."

The man exhaled, "No need to apologise, I understand how you feel. Now, the ambulance will be here shortly, and I would like to ask you two to keep an eye on Yamaguchi-kun and reassure him while I go inform Ukai-kun about the situation. Can you do that?"

The boys nodded, and Takeda ran off.

Hinata was the first one to move, Tsukishima following close, uneasy. "Hey." the ginger boy called, placing a hand on Yamaguchi's shoulder. He looked like he was in pain, with dark and deep circles under his spent eyes popping out vividly against the ashy skin, just like his freckles that looked darker than ever. The pillow and sheet were drenched in sweat, and Yamaguchi's forehead was damp, dirty hair sticking to the skin. Tsukishima instinctively brushed them away.

Yamaguchi was looking at his friends, or at something behind themー it was hard to tell. He blinked slowly, sheepishly, breaths catching up a little too often, short and shallow. A thin blanket had also been placed on him and coved up to his lapー only now Hinata noticed how Yamaguchi's sports shoes were placed close to the stool where the nurse was sitting earlier. 

"How are you feeling?" Tsukishima asked, uncertain. Yamaguchi's face screwed up in pain and sadness, or in what Tsukishima interpreted as those, since his friend didn't speak a word and only whimpered.

"Hey, you'll be okay, Yamaguchi!" Hinata chirped, patting his friend's shoulder delicately, as if he would break, "The doctors are going to make you feel better."

"I d-dun want t' leave..." Yamaguchi slurred, eyes clouded and teary: he was evidently drained. A shaky hand reached for someone's, and Tsukishima intercepted it before he knew what he was doing. Yamaguchi's hand was sweaty and cold, and even if the blond was mostly repulsed by bodily contact, he didn't care now. The pinch server's eyes fluttered close, and his friends' hearts skipped a beat. Ishii noticed and stepped closer; he didn't seem alarmed.

"You did a good thing by making him throw up. The doctors wouldn't have been as patient." the man chuckled bitterly, "Yamaguchi-kun will be fine. I also heard that you two took good care of him, which is good for his mental health."

"We didn't do anything." Tsukishima bit, trying to keep his own anxiety at bay.

"You stayed by his side through what he probably considers as the worst scenario ever. Wouldn't you appreciate it if a friend did the same for you, huh..?"

"Tsukishima." Hinata supplied.

"Right, Tsukishima-kun. If you were to face your greatest fear, wouldn't you want a reassuring presence close to you? Don't be modest, now. You did help. Both of you." Ishii smiled. Just as Tsukishima was about to reply, he heard the faint sound of sirens in the background, and he felt like he was going to lose his breakfast as well. Hinata too. The nurse noticed, and gently steered the boys out of the room, after letting them say goodbye to their friend, who barely reacted, too catatonic to do so.

As they exited the nurse's office, they saw Takeda jogging toward them, Ukai following close. The adults entered the room rapidly, and Hinata swore he'd never seen them look so tense beforeー well, maybe when Daichi had hit his head hard. 

Takeda's head poked out of the room, "Can you guys go get the EMTs and guide them here, please?"

The boys nodded and sprinted away without a word. As soon as they reached the hall, they saw two EMTs unloading a stretcher, and glancing over them. One offered a smile, walking up to them and dragging the stretcher along, "Hello, I suppose you two are here to help us out?"

ー one hour later ー

The ride to the hospital had been the most stressful moment in Takeda's life. While he was being loaded on the ambulance, Yamaguchi had started _wailing_ and heaving without actually getting anything up. He'd blindly reached for someone's hand, grabbing onto his teacher's, any hint of shame and self-consciousness gone. Takeda didn't mind, to be fair. He wasn't even twice as old as these kids, and he remembered fairly well what being sixteen was like; too young to be considered big, too old to be considered smallー always in between two opposite worlds, the sense of not belonging anywhere constantly echoing in the back of the mind, telling you to stop being like this and like that. And Yamaguchi was _scared_ out of his mind. Takeda didn't have the heart to pry his hand away, and instead he'd gripped at it tighter.

Once they'd reached the hospital, Yamaguchi had been immediately placed on a cot in the ER; they'd then drawn some blood to test and hooked him up to fluids and antibiotics in order to rehydrate him and to get rid of the bug. The doctors had asked him some questions to which he'd replied with monosyllabic, slurred words. Takeda tried to supply the missing bits whenever he could.

And now, Yamaguchi was sleeping, chest rising and falling weakly but steadily; he was drained, utterly exhausted. Takeda's eyes were glued to his phone as he typed an email and sent it to Ukai, who replied almost in the same exact instant. Karasuno had lost the match, apparently, because everyone was feeling under the weather; still, the coach had said, they'd all played well despite everything. 

As Takeda was about to get up and call Yamaguchi's parents, he saw the boy shifting from his semi-propped up position in his peripheral vision, and immediately stood up from the chair, hands hovering with uncertainty, "Yamaguchi-kun?" he called when the boy blinked once, then twice.

"Takeda-sensei..? What'sー" he got cut off by a cough, and noticed how dry yet sticky his mouth felt. His voice was hoarse too. _No… Did I..? Have I..?_

A glass of water appeared in front of him, and he grabbed it, grip shaky but strong enough to hold it up. He drank greedily, spilling some water down his chin and onto the blanket. To be honest, right now, he couldn't care less.

Takeda grabbed the now-empty glass, offering a gentle smile at the boy as he placed it on the tray next to the cot. "Are you feeling better? What do you remember?" he asked softly.

The boy pondered for an instant , easing himself back down against the pillow, "I got r-really sick and… And I passed out. Th-then you took me to the nurse..? And... Now I'm here." Yamaguchi reasoned, throat still raw. He was evidently trying to keep calm, Takeda could see as much. His gaze shifted to his left hand, and he felt the needle pricking at his skin. He cringed and looked away; needles didn't scare him as much, but he wasn't a fan either. He also felt a small, sticky band-aid on the crook of his elbow. _Great..._

"Yes, exactly. You have a violent stomach bug, though it's most likely out of your system now, luckily. The doctors want to keep you here under observation for twelve hours. Oh, and your fever's almost gone already." Takeda said, "Hinata-kun, Tsukishima-kun and your coach are on their way, and I was just about to call your parents."

Yamaguchi lowered his gaze in shame, heat rising to his face, a fistful of sheets in his tight grip as he fought back the tears. He was _pathetic._

"No, you're not." Takeda replied, and Yamaguchi realised that he must have had inadvertently spoken out loud. "Yamaguchi-kun, nothing of what you've done is pathetic. You were very brave, and nobody blames you for getting sick." the teacher insisted, hand placed on Yamaguchi's trembling shoulder. 

"I cried like a baby. I'm scared of- of my own body. I'm scared of something that literally every single human being does at some point. That is what I call something pathetic." he bit back, a bit too informallyー he would apologise later.

"No, no. Yamaguchi-kun, what you're saying makes no sense at all. Would you belittle someone else's fear? Say, Tsukishima-kun is scared of heights. Hinata-kun is scared of… well, a lot of things. I am scared too, sometimes. Would you think that we're pathetic? Would you laugh at us because we're humans?"

Yamaguchi shook his head, slowly, not meeting his teacher's eyes. He bit his lower lip, almost drawing blood. "M'sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"For… everything." Yamaguchi simply said, a sob torn from his throat as he brought one arm up and rubbed it across his eyes, covering them and drying the tears, "I made a m-mess, and I kept crying and puking andー I was so scared, I th-thought I was dying. A-and I haven't th-thanked anyone yet, not even y-you, sensei. I'm sorry, th-thank you for everything." he cried. Takeda only rubbed his back, smiling gently. 

"It's okay, Yamaguchi-kun. Let it all out."

It was only twenty minutes later or so, after Takeda had called Yamaguchi's parents and talked to a nurse, when three very worried-looking figures ran across the room and halted in front of Yamaguchi, wide-eyed.

The pinch server was sitting up, pillows propped behind his back, gaze glued to the window. Colour had returned to his cheeks, and he overall looked more alive, healthy.

"Yamaguchi!" Tsukishima called, voice uncharacteristically high. The freckled boy turned toward the source of the voice, and blushed slightly, waving a timid hand. The others immediately started asking questions, eyeing him as if he were about to collapse again, moving to place hands on his shoulders and head before the owners clutched them to their chests, scared that touch would overwhelm Yamaguchi. 

"I was _so_ scared, Yamaguchi!" Hinata screeched, "I really thought you'd diedー"

"Oi, don't say it." Tsukishima scolded him, a sharp elbow hitting Hinata's ribs, "But this idiot's right. You scared us all." he added, tone softer than he thought he could ever manage 

"Yes, Yamaguchi-kun, you almost gave me a heart attack, kid." Ukai nodded, a hand on his chest as he exhaled in relief, "Are... are you okay?" 

Yamaguchi sniffled, trembling slightly. Still, the smile on his face was warm and genuine.

"I am now."

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS HOW I COPE  
> ー  
> Please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed this!! ❤  
> ー  
> To celebrate 1000 followers on tumblr, I decided to start accepting some requests! Here's how [requests](https://theforgottendaydreamer.tumblr.com/post/639495658002415616/requests-open-thank-you-for-1000-followers) work.


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